12 Sharp

Have you ever been in a public restroom and heard an explosion in the next stall that made you giggle in spite of yourself? You know you’re being immature, and for the life of me, I don’t know why flatulence is sometimes funny. Janet Evanovich relies on that kind of crude humor throughout her novel, 12 Sharp, as the following line exemplifies: “Grandma bent to plug the amp back in and farted in the black leather hot pants” (263). Grandma goes on to ask, “Someone step on a duck?” and she farts again. Grandma’s line is silly and not terribly original, yet her character consistently makes us shake our heads and smile. 12 Sharp is the second Evanovich novel I have read, and both books rely on vulgarity, sexual innuendo, and shock humor that leave the reader laughing and feeling a guilty pleasure akin to Stephanie Plum’s enjoyment of “doughnut therapy.”

The novel opens with Stephanie and Lula, who “used to be a Ho’,” tracking the pervert, Melvin Pickle. Pickle, the name itself a phallic symbol, has been “caught shaking hands with the devil” (13) in the multiplex theater. Incredulously, Stephanie’s grandmother calls her cell phone, and she answers as Pickle is dangling from a railing where he is threatening to jump to his death. Grandma Mazur asks whether Stephanie is trying to rescue him or trying to make him jump, to which Stephanie replies: “In the beginning I was trying to rescue him…But I’m starting to change my mind” (21). The banter among characters tends toward a sarcasm that reminds me of a sitcom so much that I can almost hear a laugh track in the background as I read.

Like a sitcom character, Stephanie Plum is less than perfect. Her penchant for doughnuts, pizza, and beer make her an everyday person. Although she claims to be mediocre at her job, she seems to come out on top in most situations. According to Lula, they are better than Stephanie thinks: “I don’t think we’re completely incompetent. I think we’re closer to eighty percent incompetent” (11). “Ha ha ha” goes the laugh track. Lula’s outfits for the What are also humorous, not only because they are too tight, but also because they tend to be shiny gold or white vinyl to match her transvestite partner’s thongs. While Stephanie Plum and her cohorts consider the applicants for the new job to be a little strange, they do not seem to notice the oddity of Lula, Sally, or even Melvin.

Morelli, a conservative cop, and Ranger, a dark and mysterious security man, are the two men who capture Stephanie’s attention. A complicated living situation makes Stephanie tell them, “I’m divorcing both of you…I’m moving in with my parents” (228), but in reality, she cannot seem to let either of them go. After her fiasco with Scrog, she tells Morelli, “Something became very clear to me when I was waiting to see who was going to walk into my apartment…I love you” (317). She claims to love both men, but she ends the novel with Ranger feeding her icing off the cake in a way that reminds me of the proverbial ‘have her cake and eat it, too’ mindset.

Stephanie Plum offers a model of the woman that many women think they would like to be. If she were to choose one of the men, the fantasy of having the affections of two men would be missing from the book, and Plum would lose some of her independence. Women want to think of themselves as witty and clever and independent, but at the same time desirable and pampered. Stephanie Plum represents that ideal without ruining the fantasy by being perfect or unattainable. Like a common woman, she decides to work up her courage “by adding another layer of mascara” to her lashes before she goes in search of the “Un-Ranger” (108). Her strength and independence are magnified throughout the story, yet she never loses the vulnerability that makes her attractive to two men. Many women want to be the woman from the old Enjoli commercial who can “bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never, never let you forget you’re a man.” Stephanie Plum has those abilities and more with the exciting career, the witty dialogue, two handsome men, and the oddball sidekicks, much like a sitcom leading lady.

The story, a simple and fast read, wraps up almost as quickly as a television show, and we are not meant to think any harder than we do when we watch a sitcom. The sarcasm, the sexy banter, the eccentric minor characters, and the larger than life heroine are all traits of television show characters. The plots of 12 Sharp or other Evanovich novels could easily climax and close within the allotted time for t.v. shows. Considering the target audience for Evanovich stories, Enjoli might want to make a comeback with their commercial and sell perfume to those women who dream of being both independent and nurtured.